That one... when she looks at you, you can see she's working things out.

The time I’ve spent by myself.

            I’m about to turn 23. While many of the people that I’ve known have not spent a lot of time out of relationships. I have done the opposite. This is about the time I spend when I am alone.

I read a ton. I feel like this is even more so now that I am out of college. I love the escapism whenever I crack open a new book. I read plays. I do research. I get excited for new blogs from the sites I follow.

I craft. I have a full-time relationship with a hot glue gun. I love D.I.Y. projects and making things look aesthetically pleasing.

I write.  I journal, I blog. I write a historical comedy based on the life and times of Mae West. You know, the usual.

I take myself on dates. This is the most rewarding part of being by yourself. As RuPaul always says “if you can’t love yourself, how the hell are you gonna love somebody else” Lately I’ve been taking myself to the movies. There is nothing more satisfying than going to the movies. I’ve got a lot of films to see before the Oscars. The movies alone are a sacred experience where I can cry without worry. Where I am free to laugh on my own, and feel smart without worrying whether or not people actually think I’m smart. It has been so wonderful.

I went to Tallahassee this past weekend.  Never has there been a more necessary trip of my life. It was the perfect motivation to keep doing what I’m doing. I was greeted by a swarm of supportive people who told me I looked great and they were genuinely excited for my future.

The one thing that really stuck with me was a conversation I had with my dear friend Steven. He said “You look great” which I responded “thanks I’ve been working really hard” and he stopped me and said “no, everything about you is wonderful. Your personality is shining through in a way I haven’t seen in a very long time. The last time I we saw each other you were not yourself. You shine now” I told him thank you. I guess a lot was different. My look had changed, and I had lost way more than just 25 pounds.

My friends made my time in Tallahassee truly magical. It made me nostalgic for the many fun nights spent in apartment 1603. I ate real food responsibly. I even had a few drinks. I haven’t laughed that hard or that long in months. There was even a jazz circle! And I know my friends read this and I can’t thank them enough.  Thank you for your support, motivation, and love.

I know I spent a lot of time saying how I am alone, but I’m not really. I have the most amazing friends in the world. And they’re always with me no matter where I am.