Try to imagine yourself in the Cretaceous Period. You get your first look at this "six foot turkey" as you enter a clearing.

The excavation of my room.

“Sometimes it just isn’t enough you know?” Thank you Neil Labute. That’s all I’ll say about my new single status.

After looking through my room of all the things that I should get rid of my own mental stability I found that my entire room was full of lost artifacts from past friendships and relationships. And I decided that if I got rid of these things I wouldn’t know where I came from and where I have the capability to go.  Here are some of the fossilized things I’ve found and why they can’t go.

One of the oldest artifacts in my room, dating back to when I was a senior in high school and auditioning for colleges. Co’Relous was supposed to be my date for a night on the town in Chicago, but he blew me off. I was needless to say angry. He gave me this rose and then promised me that he would not lie or make promises he couldn’t keep again. And he has kept that word and we’ve been brilliant friends for almost 6 years now.

The Fountainhead. This represents John and everything that came with him. The many nights where we spoke until the dawn. The countless positive playlists. The tears. My worry and fear for this boy. And now I look at it and I see a book that represents a man that I knew. Now he is a new man and I couldn’t be happier for him. I miss and love him dearly and I’m so proud of him.

The panda trash can. This little guy represents a show that I wrote myself. It represents overcoming obstacles and learning to deal with working with a partner. But most importantly it represents something that allowed me to meet some of the best people I’ll ever know one of my most cherished college experiences.

Hahahaha. Well, I made this to promote safe sex my senior year of college. Truth be told it never got used until I was in a relationship that could can only be qualified as more than a one night stand. But I look at it and I don’t think about the times I got lucky. I think about the time when my roommates and I had craft day and I created it. I think about the times my roommates used it more than me. I think about how ballsy I was to make that in the first place. And I think about how thankful I am that I did make it.

Bowling scores and a box of chocolate covered pretzels. Steven is one of the most special people in my life. We are outrageously similar. We have had the most fun over the brief time I’ve known him, but I can’t help but feel I’ve known him my whole life. We always know what the other is thinking and can tell when we are in distress. We have had our fair share of ups and downs, but we always manage to move forward. I am so blessed to have him as my friend.

Caleba- This dino represents almost 6 months of the craziest time of my life. It represents being mature. Being a child. Meeting a new best friend. Getting a new family and missing my real family desperately. It represents a love for Jacksonville. It represents Caleb and I’s 4 hour long phone calls in the middle of the night. It represents laughter, pranks and shenanigans. It reminds me to move forward. And sometimes it is ok to not go back. 

The most recent and raw soon to be artifacts in my room. These each represent two of the most joyous times in my life. They represent the kind of feelings that you read about in novels. They represent two stubborn individuals. Lost and in love. And it represents the ability to move forward no matter how many times you say fuck you to a person.  It represents years of bad timing. It will probably be hard to crack open that book. And it probably will be close to forever before I watch that movie again, but one day I will. And these things will function just as all the other artifacts in the room.

There is a peak into the little things in my room that I can’t get rid of because it is important to know where you come from.  Life is easy to understand backwards but it has to be lived forward.  I always want to understand and maybe I can get forward down one day.